
Painful Productivity
Are you wasting your life away in your mom’s basement because you’re too lazy to follow through on anything?
If you don’t get out soon, you’ll never be able to catch up! You’ll die alone!
Are you willing to settle for that?
You need to get your life together. You could try to buckle down, but who are you kidding? You’ll fail. You need to hire a coach if you’re going to stand a chance.
Introducing Painful Productivity!
With my unique Painful Productivity method, you’re guaranteed to finish your novel, buy your own place, and impress all your friends in 30 days!*
*You can only get a refund if you try all the icky things I tell you to do and they STILL don’t work.
My name is Mirror Universe Presley and I’ll be your coach. I got certified last weekend by GetRichQuickScheme.com and I’m the world’s foremost leader in shaming people into working themselves into burnout!
Testimonials
You could be exactly like my single most satisfied client!
Painful Productivity CHANGED MY LIFE! One time Mirror Universe Presley JUST LOOKED AT ME and then I had MY MILLION DOLLAR IDEA!
– Jane Doe, Chief Executive Girl Boss of Get Rich By Exploiting The Global Majority, LLC
Are you good enough to buy Painful Productivity?
This package is NOT for you if:
- You enjoy being a loser
- You’re not ready to DO THE WORK, no matter how painful it is
- You don’t believe that you’re worth the investment
My Unique Framework
Painful Productivity has a unique 3-step framework to fix everything that’s wrong with you:
- First, I’ll tell you to use the life hacks that worked for me. If they don’t work for you, that’s your fault!
- Second, I’ll use shame to motivate you and call it “accountability”!
- Third, I’ll tell you that you’re letting yourself down if you try to quit the program!
Remember: the pain is how you know it’s working!
Act Now!
Painful Productivity is valued, by me, at $69,420!
But it’s on sale for only $9,999.99!
Remember, if you want to manifest abundance, you have to show the universe that you believe in it by spending more than you can afford!
But this sale is only good for the next 37 minutes! You can “sleep on it” when you’re dead!
Buy now or miss out forever!