Do you ever look up and realize, “I’ve been scrolling for 20 minutes. I have something really important to do and I don’t even know how I got here. What is wrong with me?“
The thing about questions like “What is wrong with me?” is that they’re not really asking for information. They’re inviting shame. Shame feels terrible, and we’ll do pretty much anything to avoid it. So on some level, that you may not be conscious of, you’re hurling this shaming question at yourself to motivate yourself to do better.
It’s a noble goal. But does it work? In my experience, not really. Maybe it gets you to put the phone down for a minute. But it doesn’t get rid of the problem long-term.
What it is good at is making you feel bad about yourself. That’s the point, after all — it’s all stick, no carrot.
But if you can just turn that question from a shaming, rhetorical “What is wrong with me?!” into a genuine, curious “What perfectly good reason do I have for doing this?”, it changes everything.
The experience goes from miserable to interesting. Instead of bringing shame, it tends to bring self-compassion. And instead of being barely effective at all, it can be the doorway to actual change.
So for the month of March 2024, I’m offering complimentary Exploration Sessions. These are 50 minute one-on-one video calls, just like my regular coaching sessions. Bring a question, and we’ll explore it together.
We’ll uncover your motivations using parts work. I don’t guess, I don’t make generalizations based on other people, I don’t even intuit the answer. I just guide you into a place where you can tune into the subconscious motivations that you’re normally not listening to.
At the end, I’ll tell you how further parts work could help you act on the information you discovered, but there’s absolutely no pressure to work with me further. You can act on the information if you want, but it’s also totally legit to just rest a little easier knowing that you’re not completely irrational.
Choose a time during the month of March here:
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